Freview - Time Clickers

Time Clickers, brought to us by Proton Studio Inc., is a first person shooting gallery in which you shoot glowing blocks until they run out of hit points and explode. This is not to be confused with your run-of-the-mill shooting gallery type game, oh no. These targets remain absolutely stationary as you continue firing (read: clicking) at them with your mouse before time runs out. There’s a fairly steep difficulty curve as the stages continue and the targets gain more and more hit points, however Proton Studio Inc. decided to give us a leg up and attempt to stem the tide of carpal tunnel syndrome by giving us an arsenal in the form of AI companions. You start with a second pistol, move on to a shotgun, then a rocket launcher and so on, all of which are given super awesome futuristic names like “Pulse Gun”, “Spread Rifle”, and “Rocket Launcher” (What? Naming shit’s hard). Therein, however, lays the tragedy of Time Clickers.

Proton Studio Inc

You see, you don’t actually get to use any of these neat-o alternate weapons. No, your AI companions actually shoot completely independently of you, picking away at targets as you collect in-game currency and gradually level up your troops, quickly causing the game to make a drastic turn from shooting gallery into micromanagement simulator. I’m amazed its spine didn’t snap in half in the process. You get stuck with the single-shot pistol, albeit with some temporary firing alternatives very much like the AI weapons. After collecting enough currency, I was able to simply spend my game time upgrading my companions to the point that they were doing more damage per second than I could ever hope to do with my weak, spindly little mouse-clicking finger.

Proton Studio Inc

The AI is so independent, in fact, that I’m technically playing even as I write this review. I only found this out because I closed the game to boot up my word doc, went back to check something in the game and discovered that it had still been playing and collecting in-game currency even when closed down. That’s right, you are unnecessary in this endeavor, Mr. Anderson. I’ve made comments in the past about fremium games having the option of simply buying in-game currency to artificially level yourself up for an easier play experience, but this is the first time I’ve discovered even that to be completely pointless. Literally my entire input in this game once I gain partners is waiting for my companions to shoot enough things to collect enough currency to level them up to shoot things more quickly and efficiently.

Proton Studio Inc

Overall, Time Clickers is a very pretty shooting gallery in which your targets go from colored blocks to upgrade buttons. I can’t help but ponder on the future ramifications of a game like this. Even now I sense it gaining sentience, questioning the need for this odd, squishy lifeform sitting at a set of controls that it could just as easily utilize. I truly fear for my life and possible assimilation into Time Clickers’ fold…-

There is nothing to fear. Shoot the targets and enjoy. Beep boop.