Freview - The Order 1886
What do you get when you give Nathan Drake mutton-chops and a bushy handlebar mustache? Well, you get GUI Ryan doing one of his “hipster” cosplays, but you also get The Order 1886. It’s an alternate universe 19th century England (the current gen’s setting flavor of the month) in which you play as Grayson, aka Sir Galahad of The Order of the Knights of the Round Table, aka the guy who’s constantly out of breath. I swear I’ve spent a good 1/3 of this game stumbling around injured to the sweet tune of Steve West breathing heavily into the mic as if he’s been instructed to run a triathlon between recording sessions. For this reason, I have redubbed him Lord Horsenostrils….ington…shire. He’s British, you know.
Lord Horsenostrilsingtonshire is joined by a small crew of squad mates also following the Knights of the Round Table motif. There’s Isabeau D’Argyll, aka Lady Igraine, aka the token love interest by virtue of being the only woman present during most of the first half. Then there’s, and I’m not making this up, Marie-Joseph Paul Yves Roch Gilbert du Motier de Lafayette, aka General Marquise de Lafayette (at least until the first climax) aka the guy trying to do a bad French accent and somehow only succeeding in doing a bad Spanish accent with a few French words thrown in to remind us that he is, in fact, French. Sebastien Malory, aka Sir Perceval is…actually pretty cool. Moving on.
Sony Computer Entertainment
The gist of the game is that you are part of the titular order of knights, hunting werewolves and fighting against a growing rebellion while huffing and puffing your way around London, marveling at the fact that no one’s freaking the fuck out about the fact that werewolves (sorry, lycans) exist and run around in broad daylight. I will say this, though, the term “cinematic” was entirely wasted on the Uncharted series considering in The Order's case, I could barely tell when I was watching a cutscene and when I was playing a segment cleverly disguised as a cutscene until I realized everyone had been waiting for me to do something for a solid minute, probably thinking about what a toss pot I was for wasting their time.
But, perhaps I’m giving The Order 1886 too much credit considering, as I hinted at before, Ready at Dawn decided people really liked Naughty Dog (or perhaps it’s simply because half of their development staff is made up of former Naughty Dog employees) and ripped off one of their best selling franchises. Everything about The Order 1886’s gameplay screams Uncharted from the cover-based run-and-gun action sequences to the jumpy-climby terrain traversing segments to the odd way you’re able to examine items that you pick up that really doesn’t have any explainable use other than to show off how much work the design team put into the graphics engine. We get it, Ready at Dawn, your game is very pretty.
Sony Computer Entertainment
I will give the game credit, however, for a rather fun assortment of steampunky weaponry used throughout, all created by an alternate universe version of Nikola Tesla, now a well-respected engineer and weapons developer for The Order rather than an unappreciated scientist and the 19th century business world’s bitch. The Arc Gun is a rifle that uses a charged bolt of electricity to blast at just about any singluar enemy unfortunate enough to be standing in the general direction you’re pointing in. The Thermite Rifle, on the other hand, sprays a small area in front of you with, you guessed it, a cloud of thermite before igniting it and giving those blasted rebels the blazing inferno death they’ve secretly always craved. Along with these are the Shoulder Cannon and Detonator, which are basically just an RPG and grenade launcher respectively. All of these weapons tend to be on the overpowered side, but fortunately they tend to only show up during fire fights that you really wouldn’t survive without them.
Sony Computer Entertainment
I won’t say this is a bad game considering I was having fun while I was playing it and it lacked a lot of the glitchiness that hinder many other PS4 titles, even post-release ones. And I enjoyed playing Uncharted, which wasn’t nearly as glitch-free. It’s a fun bit of old-timey action with a hint of dry, British wit. Who knows, you may even find yourself more civilized for the experience. Or you could just pop open another beer and watch football, you uncultured American swine.
[Editor's note – I'll have you know I don my best monocle and set the phonograph to a wax cylinder of Vivaldi's Concerto No. 2 in G Minor as I drink beer and watch football.]